Are there times where you can feel you need to put on an armour or a mask to "pretend" to be another you, and show up as a different person in front of your child, so that you can manipulate them to do what you want them to do? In local Chinese traditional parenting, we can also easily hear parents share that I am the "black face" (黑脸, the "bad/fierce guy" who is in charge of "punishing" or saying "no" to children), and my spouse is the "white face" (白脸, the "nice/good guy" whom children can go to for comfort and play). To be someone who you are not, put on and take out that armour day in day out, does it tire you out?
As a conscious parent, I show up as who I am, express my true feeling and honest thinking in the present moment. This means I may be vulnerable to admit my mistakes and human errors, apologise to my child sincerely, and face my imperfection. This allows my child to share her true feeling and honest thinking without hiding or covering up her authentic self. This deep and genuine connection between us forges trust and mutual respect.
From time to time, my child or I may say to the other, "I know what you are going to say or do..." with observing the other through facial cues, eye contact, body language or without finishing what we are saying. At times, we may also receive some signal to not say a word. This freedom to express ourselves helps us to build healthy relationship to request for an apology when we feel hurt by the judgement of the other party.
Be curiously interested in checking out alternative ways to parent your children.